Neither Could Dylan

Taking a break from the metaphorical analysis of our mind and life experience, Let’s Not is a song that reflects on relationships that have damaged us and our part in them. 

We have a funny way of both downplaying and hyperbolizing experiences we’ve had, usually to protect ourselves from further grief or to bolster our own egos. In this case and I think generally in many of my own lyrics, I’m often trying to protect myself. I don’t like to call myself a perfectionist, but I know I carry a lot of those traits.

If I’ve done something that might be perceived as cruel or embarrassing for example, I’ll ask myself why we’d ever do that.  “What was I thinking?” As though it was not my mind or body that was in charge at the time. If I have an outburst and say something terrible about someone in frustration, I recoil because that’s not the type of person I want to be, even though I understand why it happened and even if I believe what I said to be true. 

As a kid I was often told not to engage with bullies because it gives them power, they want to get a rise out of you at any cost so the best thing you can do is not give it to them. Which is all well and good advice but sometimes people need to be told when they’re being a dickhead and sometimes I can’t help but be that messenger. I’m not sure which school of thought is better to adhere to, honestly, I think there’s a time and place for both. 

Let’s Not is one of these songs on this record that part of me wishes I was not inspired to write, but it’s also one that introduces a subject that I think is so critical for us as a community to keep talking about. 

It’s about manipulation, control and sexual assault. 

This is a subject that is not just deeply personal to me, but one that I am in constant turmoil over. 

As far as we’ve come in some areas of society, there continues to be this bizarre air of right over another person’s body. Consent is a massive issue that so many are afraid to discuss and even more afraid to call out when they know there is a lack of it. We see it all the time when people come to the defence of those accused of it, especially when it’s someone they know. You know that old adage, “you are the company you keep?” There’s really something to it.

We have strict penalties for murder, but not yet for rape. 

Why not? 

If anything it should be the opposite. Which is not to downplay murder, but I really don’t think enough people understand or appreciate how debilitating it is to deal with being the victim of a sexual assault – of all levels. 

It doesn’t just stay with you, it rears its head when you’re not even expecting it. It changes the entire way you view people – all people, because you can’t fathom what people are capable of until it’s been quite literally forced upon you. It’s an experience I wish on absolutely no one.

If you are someone that understands this feeling, I am so sorry for what has happened to you and I hope you know it was not your fault. 

For me, I wish I could never think about it again, to be set free from this awful feeling that creeps in and out of my day-to-day whenever it seemingly feels like it, but I know that’s not possible. 

That’s why I think it’s worse than murder. At least once you’re dead, that’s it. You no longer have the thoughts. You no longer have the fear of your assailant coming back for you or anyone else for that matter. You almost get the feeling that these types of perpetrators can sense you’ve already been victimized and that makes you feel even more vulnerable and you’re just expected to live with that for the rest of your life and go about your day like it never happened at all.

It’s insane to think what some people have gone through and you genuinely have no idea as you stand beside them at the coffee shop waiting for your drink orders.

I know ignoring the conversation would do further disservice to others who are still working through the experience and those who may experience it in the future, so it’s important to acknowledge and share our stories. 

We need to move further towards a world where victims are not just believed, but are able to get some sort of justice for these types of acts and provided the necessary resources to cope with the trauma that comes with it. 

I know it’s not a very fun conversation, but we cannot keep failing each other by ignoring it. 

Official Lyrics:
Let’s not pretend that it’s more than it is 
Or that it was greater forces by which we were led 
Let’s not pretend that we didn’t give in
Misguided by voices imprisoned within our own heads

Please don’t talk about me to your friends 
Revising the way we got undressed 
Please, don’t

I won’t admit how far it went 
To save you, I’m sure, further embarrassment 
You know I won’t 

Don’t twist my words to suit your needs
However eloquently they filter out as you breathe 
Or turn your phrase in such a way 
It leaves me crumbling

An abandoned building open in its decay
A demolition would’ve been more humane
Than whatever drawn out disguised folk tale
You scribbled down and leather-bound
Pressed the pages stale
Just to write me out
Just to write me out

Try not to mention me in any tense 
Neither past nor present made any sense 
Should there be a future unbeknownst to me 
Keep it blind 
Let it be 
Set me free 
Set me free

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Keep listening and jump to track 8: Driveway (coming soon)