Neither Could Dylan

Feel Something speaks to the point and purpose of this record and everything that inspired the songs inside it – to feel something again. 

As I worked towards healing from the traumatic experiences I’d been through and bringing myself to a place that felt safe enough for me to continue that work and reflect on myself, where I’d been and where I wanted to be, I found myself for the first time in my life understanding what it meant to really feel alone. 

Sure, I’d felt lonely, but I’d never really felt alone. In fact I’ve spent a lot of my life just trying to get space because there always seems to be too many people around, too much noise and too little reprieve. 

I’m an overthinker, but I’d never really heard myself think. 

While writing these songs and those on Acceptance before it, I was finally experiencing those moments of quiet I’d wanted for so long. 

I’d spent so many years numbing myself to all the things that were hurting me that I wasn’t able to give myself and my experiences the time and attention they were screaming out for. Nobody else can really help you with this. You can get some guidance, sure, but ultimately it is you who has to sit with yourself, your choices, what’s happened or not happened and decide what they mean or what you want to make of it all. 

You have to be really willing to let yourself feel every part of it, no matter how much it hurts to walk down certain roads, if you’re going to be able to move past it in a healthy way. I think, anyway.  

I think it takes a lot of strength and courage just to do this type of work on yourself, to just allow yourself to feel. It’s far easier to shut down or drown it out, but I think I’d be doing myself and everyone around me a disservice if I allowed myself to continue to do that. 

To be able to embrace life for all that can be wonderful about it, you have to be present with the moments that make it awful, too. 

It was really hard to write about some of these things I’ve been sharing with you through these songs and blogs, but I’m less afraid of them now than I used to be and I know they don’t define me. 

I hope you don’t let them define you, too.

Official Lyrics:
So this is what they mean by the bitter end
All my life’s dreams left unaccomplished
Cowering from the shadow of my awkwardness
Like bolts to my ankles
And acid down my neck
Bound to the table
That I would never set
What broke then since laid to rest
As evidenced by the empty chairs  
To my right and left 

There was nothing greater, I insist
Than time alone to make sense of it
An exploration of where I’d been 
For fear of missing critical scenes
No want or need that could aleve
What broke then since laid to rest
You, I never wanted to impress
I just wanted

To feel something again 
I just wanted
To feel something again 
To feel something again 

The gaping wounds,
Unflattering mood swings,
Unconscious stream
A goal built of desire
Forced upon in too early hour 
It never was more than this
I never wanted to impress
I just wanted

To feel something
I just wanted
To feel something again 
I just wanted
To feel something again 
Feel something again
Feel something again

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Keep listening and jump ahead to track 15: Today